Coaching is not something you do to people.  It’s a mindset.

Whilst taking some managers through a coaching skills program recently, it became immediately apparent that the word “coaching” had become synonymous with the word “feedback” (and usually negative or developmental).

For example, “please step into my office, I’d like to offer you some coaching on the presentation you gave today.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of a coaching mindset or approach, but I encourage all managers to err on the side of questioning rather than telling.

As managers, I reckon we should just lose the word “coaching” altogether. There is no need to announce you are about to coach someone.

If you are having a one on one meeting with a team member, simply use questions as a way to conduct the meeting.

No need to say “I’m going to start coaching you now”.

If you feel that permission is required, rather than say “can I coach you on that?”, you could ask “do you mind if I ask you a few questions about that?”.