I was asked this question in a workshop last week.  And it took me a moment to consider.  Frankly, it’s not something that I think about in isolation, as I believe building relationships is the same whether they are virtual or not.

However, I do believe it may take a little longer as you are often missing some of the queues you rely on with face-to-face interactions.

When building relationships virtually, you still need to:

Take time to get to know each other.  It’s PERSONAL.  You will have more success with tasks, projects and assignments if there is a personal connection.  When engaging with your virtual team members, ensure that ample time is given to getting to know each other.  There are some great activities that can facilitate this (virtually or otherwise):

• • Telling personal history stories (where I grew up, where I fall in the sibling order, significant childhood incident)
  • Story of my name (meaning of your first or second names, history of your last name, how you got your name)
  • Sharing hobbies or interests outside of work

Establish RAPPORT.  A definition of rapport is “the reduction of difference to promote harmonious relationships”.  In other words, find commonality.  We tend to trust people who are like us, or have similar interests, background or history to us.  There are some simple ways you can do this:

• • Matching voice qualities – speed, pitch, tone, etc. (NOT accent!)
  • Taking time to explore interests, history and experiences.
  • Set an intention of building a positive relationship, and put your attention on them.

INVEST in it.  Every time you take the time you will reap the rewards.  Many of us fear that we don’t have time in a meeting to spend five minutes or so at the beginning do “fluff”.  In my opinion, it’s the furthest thing from “fluff” and will get you the best ROI for your time.

• • Make the small talk at the beginning count. Don’t just talk about the weather; use the opportunity to ask quality questions that can build the relationships. If you ask what they did on the weekend, listen (no really LISTEN) to the answer.
  • Listen with an intention to understand, not to reply.  Take the time to listen to what people have to say with more of an empathic radar than a “I need to respond” radar.
  • Be fully present.  In virtual settings it’s just too easy to allow distractions around you to get in the way.  Turn your email off, focus in the moment and don’t allow others who are physically nearby to interrupt you.

#makingvirtualwork #makingworkwork